Shame: the lowest vibration

I have probably studied somewhere between 800 and a thousand near-death experiences. I didn’t come to them casually. I came to them the way people do when life breaks you. Over time, patterns begin to emerge. Themes repeat. Warnings surface. And one of the most consistent messages I hear from people who have crossed to the Other Side and returned is this:

Be careful with shame.

Not fear.

Not anger.

Not grief.

Shame.

What surprises people is that in near-death experiences, there is no external judgment. No condemnation. No punishment. There is no courtroom, no pointing finger, no cosmic scorekeeping. Instead, people describe entering a state of overwhelming clarity and love. And in that state, something becomes immediately obvious.

The only pain they feel is self-generated shame.

And just as importantly,that pain dissolves the moment love is accepted.

This is not symbolic. It is not metaphorical. It is described again and again as literal. Shame does not come from the Other Side. It comes from within. And it cannot survive in the presence of unconditional love.

That alone should tell us something profound about the nature of shame.

Shame is not simply feeling bad about something you did. That is guilt, and guilt can be useful. Shame is something far more corrosive. Shame says, I am bad. It attacks identity, not behavior. It collapses the self instead of correcting direction.

From a psychological perspective, shame is the most paralyzing emotional state a human being can experience. When shame activates, the rational parts of the brain go offline. The nervous system enters a collapse response. Curiosity shuts down. Learning stops. The future disappears. People freeze, submit, or disappear inwardly. Nothing grows in shame.

Nothing heals in shame.

This aligns perfectly with what people report in near-death experiences. In expanded awareness, there is no shame. There is only understanding. When experiencers review their lives, they do not feel attacked or judged. They see clearly. They understand how their actions affected others, but the insight is wrapped in compassion, not condemnation. The moment they stop condemning themselves, the pain evaporates.

That is why shame is often described as the lowest vibration, the heaviest emotion, the most painful state on earth. Not because it is evil, but because it is a contraction of consciousness.

Shame turns awareness against itself. It separates us from others, from meaning, from love, and from our own humanity.

Every major spiritual tradition points to this, even if they use different language. When properly understood, Christianity does not use shame as a tool for transformation. Christ consistently restores dignity before addressing behavior. Buddhism teaches that shame arises from misidentifying with the ego instead of true awareness. Hindu philosophy describes shame as confusion between the temporary self and the eternal Self. Stoicism dismisses shame as useless suffering that weakens reason and virtue.

Different frameworks. Same conclusion.

What this means practically is enormous, especially for people who have endured trauma, abuse, betrayal, or loss. Many people are not destroyed by what happened to them. They are destroyed by what they say to themselves afterward. Shame for staying. Shame for trusting. Shame for loving. Shame for not leaving sooner. Shame for believing in goodness.

That secondary shame often does more damage than the original wound.

Near-death experiences offer a stark corrective to this. They suggest that growth does not come from self-attack. Healing does not come from condemnation. Awareness does not require punishment. The pain people fear on the Other Side is not inflicted.

It is self-imposed.

And it disappears the instant grace is allowed in.

If there is a lesson here, it is this: shame is not humility, and it is not responsibility. It is a misunderstanding of how change actually happens. Responsibility looks forward. Shame looks backward and collapses.

Responsibility says, What is the next right step?

Shame says, I should have been different than I was.

In every credible account of expanded consciousness, there is no room for that question. There is only clarity, compassion, and learning.

And perhaps that is the deepest message these experiences leave us with. Whatever healing awaits us later, it begins now, in this life, the moment we stop putting ourselves on trial and allow ourselves to be seen with the same mercy we so freely offer others.

The following is from Dr. Chase :

“One of the fastest ways to get good at just enjoying the moment is to be so self-forgiving that it's almost delusional.

That's the best advice that I could give somebody.

Be delusionally self-forgiving.

What does that mean in reality?

Most people look back with regret and shame. I shouldn't have done that or I should have done that, but I can't believe I embarrassed myself. I can't believe I did that thing in front of those people.

Get so forgiving of everything that you've ever done of yourself that it is like delusional to the point where it's just crazy. Then you're thinking, I shouldn't forgive myself for that.

You get to a point where everything is fine and it's just hilarious.

If you get to that point, your ability to stay in the present and not stuck in the past will multiply times 10 overnight. Just the ability to be delusionally self-forgiving. Especially once we follow that discipline practice, we're putting concern forward and gratitude back.

Chase Hughes