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Will I ever trust or love again?

Shannon Goertz

Updated: Sep 21, 2021

Yes.


I had a epiphany while studying mountain climbing recently.


This happened when I was writing a short story that required a lot of research about the safety equipment that goes into such an adventure. I had to become familiar with certain terminology such as belaying devices, runners, slings, anchors and the harnesses that connect you to your partner.

The unexpected subplot that occurred within the same month is that I ran headlong into an ex-girlfriend. It didn't go well and yet it did for a great many other reasons, one of which was it caused me to reevaluate what happened between us that led to our breakup.


I had that thunderbolt moment.⚡️


You cannot climb the mountain of Love while protecting yourself from a potential fall.

The safety equipment must be left behind.

It has to be raw.


Or it’s not real…


You have to rock climb it; no equipment.


Finger holes and footholds will be your only options, even in darkness.


No headlamps!


You have to have blind Faith.


It’s Trust that you’re looking for again and not just in your new potential partner but mostly in yourself.


After all, you’re the one selecting these people.

Some of you will see me make a lot of comments out there in the world wide divorce recovery groups that I help with, but when I reference the phrase,


“You have to drop the Armor” – – that so called "rock climbing" (or vulnerability) is specifically what I’m referring to.


You cannot have ecstasy without going through agony. The American culture is one of few that refer to pleasure and pain as two separate words, yet they both are the SAME word in a great many other cultures.


If gold wants to be purified, it has to pass through fire. Again, you will have to be vulnerable. You can’t be constantly on guard. You will have to drop the calculating mind and Risk it All.


Live and Love dangerously!


You will have to drop the Armor and Be Fearless!


Live.

I realize even though I’m five years removed from my divorce that I just dropped the Armor...maybe only as little less 60 days ago. I’ve been stuck to the side of the mountain, frozen. Because you attract what you are, it was revealed to me that I had been employing a defense mechanism called "avoidant attachment" whereas the individual keeps people at arms-length and runs from ALL red flags when you actually need to embrace your partner's ...let's call them "manageable red flags", and love them tenderly for they actually MADE the partner you have chosen. It is the pain you experienced when you were younger that governs who you love and how you choose to give that love in the future, maybe even more so than the good times you have experienced in this life.


It’s not about trying to change or save the other person. Embrace everything that makes them who they are because that is who standing before you.


Be Fearless! Love again❤️




 
 
 

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