Counting the bites…

There is an old saying from the East.

Feed a snake.

Love a snake.

Respect a snake.

Pray for a snake.

It does not matter.

It will still bite you.

Wisdom is knowing the difference between compassion and self destruction.

Be kind, but not naive.

Forgive, but do not forget the lesson.

Love, but do not sacrifice yourself to prove it.

This is not about resentment.

It is about seeing clearly.

People do not always hurt you because you failed to love them well enough. Sometimes they hurt you because of who they are and where they are in their own development.

Many of us were taught that if we are patient enough, loving enough, understanding enough, things will eventually change. That if we just bring more kindness into the situation, the danger will somehow dissolve.

That belief keeps people trapped.

It is like standing outside a cage with a rabid pit bull inside. You convince yourself that if you bring it food, speak softly, and show it care, you will eventually be able to step into the cage safely.

You cannot.

Not because you are unloving.

Not because you failed.

But because the animal is not capable of responding differently right now.

Real wisdom is knowing when compassion turns into self harm. Compassion allows you to recognize another person’s pain. Wisdom draws the line where that pain is no longer allowed to become your own.

In abusive relationships, compassion often turns into self abandonment. You excuse the outbursts. You rationalize the manipulation. You forgive the same behavior again and again, hoping this time will be different.

Kindness does not require tolerating mistreatment.

Understanding does not mean ignoring patterns.

Love never asks you to erase your own worth.

Forgiveness has its place. It can free your heart from carrying anger. But remembering what you learned is what protects your future. Forgetting the lesson is how people end up hurt again.

Love does not demand that you bleed as proof of sincerity. Anyone who expects you to give up your voice, your dignity, or your peace in the name of love is asking you to abandon yourself.

Growth is realizing that walking away can sometimes be the most caring choice. Not because you want to punish the other person, but because you finally choose to protect yourself.

You can wish someone healing from a distance.

You can pray for someone without staying in harm.

You can love without staying in the cage.

Move gently through the world.

Act wisely.

Protect your peace.

That is not selfish.

That is clarity.

(the great majority of these ideas quotes are taken from Buddhism on Facebook)