Fighting thoughts….

One of the single biggest changes you can make in your life, is to set the intention that, when a negative thought enters your mind, you won’t let the hook set. You will never control when a negative thought appears, but you can become remarkably skilled at recognizing it before the barb catches hold. (see where the arrow is pointing in the picture; barb)

This one decision today has the power to change the direction of your life forever.

I've noticed in myself over the past several months an immense change and it has everything to do with becoming faster.

Faster at letting negative thoughts go.

Not because they stopped coming—they haven't and they never will.

But because I'm finally learning that the first thought isn't usually the one that hurts.

It's the one I choose to keep my focus on in terms of seconds before I catch myself and let go.

When I was a kid, one of the first lessons I learned about fishing had nothing to do with catching fish.

It had to do with getting hooked.

If you accidentally stuck yourself with a fish hook, the first thing an adult would say was, "Don't move. Be still.”

Why? (Because of the barb.)

A fish hook isn't dangerous because it's sharp. It's dangerous because of that tiny barb. If you push the hook too far, the barb catches, and now every movement makes things worse. Many times, the only way to remove it is to push it all the way through until it exits the skin through another point to get the barb out of there, which is way more painful or go to the emergency room so they can cut it out.

I've come to believe that negative thoughts work the same way.

Every one of them arrives carrying a barb. 🪝

The question isn't whether the thought will show up. The question is whether you'll let it set.

Have you ever watched underwater footage of a largemouth bass striking a plastic worm?

It's amazing. The fish can inhale the entire bait in one quick motion...and then instantly spit it back out before the hook ever catches.

The fish survives because it never committed.

It never gave the hook enough time ⏱️ for the barb to do its job.

You will suffer much less in your life if you practice this wisdom specific to negative thoughts.

Here's another way to picture it.

Think about a dating app like Tinder or Bumble.

Every few seconds another profile appears. You glance at it.

Swipe left. Not interested.

Gone.

You don't study the profile. You don't imagine a future together. You don't spend the next three hours wondering if you made the right decision.

Just move on.

Do that exact move with destructive thoughts.

"What if they never loved me?"

Swipe left.

"I'll never find someone else."

Swipe left.

"I should have seen this coming."

Swipe left.

"They're happier without me."

Swipe left.

The danger isn't the first thought. The danger is the super swipe. That's when you decide to invest.

You replay the conversation.

You analyze every text message.

You rewrite history.

You imagine different endings.

Fifteen minutes later, you're still there.

Three days later, you're still there.

Months later, you've built a home there.

The barb has set. 🪝

While writing this, I became curious whether neuroscience had ever studied anything like this.

The answer surprised me.

Researchers have found that when something upsetting happens, your brain automatically triggers a stress response. Your body releases stress chemicals, your heart rate changes, your muscles tense, and your mind becomes alert.

According to neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, if we don't continue feeding the thought, that initial chemical response naturally passes through the body in about 90 seconds.

Ninety seconds. Think about that.

The body's first reaction is automatic.

What happens after that is often influenced by where we choose to place our attention.

Psychologists have also spent years studying rumination—the habit of replaying painful thoughts over and over. Every time we replay the story, we can reignite the body's stress response and reinforce the very neural pathways that make those thoughts easier to revisit in the future.

In other words...

The first thought may not be your choice.

The second one often is.

And then comes the third.

And the fourth.

Soon one painful thought has multiplied into an entire courtroom inside your head.

One witness after another takes the stand.

Every piece of evidence points toward suffering.

Not because life demanded it...

...but because we kept feeding the hook.

Please hear me carefully.

I am not suggesting that grief, trauma, betrayal, or depression can simply be "swiped away."

Some wounds require counseling.

Some require time.

Some require medical care.

This isn't about denying your feelings.

It's about refusing to give unnecessary suffering free rent inside your mind.

There is a difference.

So what do you do when the hook appears?

Here are a few things that have helped me.

First, recognize it.

Simply notice it.

"There's the thought."

Not, "This is who I am."

Just...

"There's the thought."

Second, don't argue with it.

Don't build a case.

Don't defend yourself.

Don't prosecute yourself.

Don't negotiate with it.

Just notice it.

Third, remember the 90 seconds.

Instead of following the story, pay attention to your breathing.

Notice your body.

Let the chemistry settle before you decide what deserves your attention.

Fourth, pivot.

Go for a walk.

Call a friend.

Read a page from a good book.

Pray.

Meditate.

Pet your dog.

Listen to music.

Do something that gently redirects your attention without pretending the pain isn't real.

Most importantly...

Practice.

Give yourself some grace.

Nobody taught us this.

We were taught math.

We were taught history.

Some of us were taught how to build careers.

Very few of us were taught what to do when our own minds become the source of our suffering.

Like every other skill, this one improves with repetition.

At first, you may catch yourself after an hour.

Then twenty minutes.

Then five.

Then thirty seconds.

And one day you'll notice something remarkable.

The thought arrived...

...you recognized the hook...

...you smiled...

...swiped left...

...and kept walking.

Because not every thought deserves your attention.

And not every hook deserves to be carried.

T❤️