The Rowboat Tattoo

My friend got a divorce tattoo this weekend. I went with her because, in a way, I inspired it.

It was a small rowboat. Months ago, while she was crying on my shoulder, I told her this:

“OK, imagine you're in a little rowboat—not a cruise ship, not a yacht. Just a tiny thing, barely big enough for you. But you've got your husband in there with you, and your kid, and the dog.

And every time someone gets tired of paddling, you pick up their oar.

He stops trying? You paddle harder.

He wants to stretch out? You curl up smaller to make him more comfortable.

He complains the ride isn’t smooth—so you adjust course, even if it means steering straight into a damn storm he created.

And every time the boat starts to tip, you don’t say a word. You just scoop the water out with your bare hands and smile, like nothing’s wrong. Because you packed a life jacket—for him.

You made sure he had what he needed. But you didn’t pack one for yourself. You figured maybe if you could just hold on a little longer… if you loved enough, if you sacrificed enough, if you proved your worth enough… maybe he’d start rowing again.

But love shouldn’t make you drown, baby.

It’s OK to want to be loved, to be needed, to be chosen—but not at the expense of going under.

Especially not when you are the one keeping the whole damn boat afloat.”

The morals and further instruction:

Love is not measured by sacrifice that destroys the Self. The Lesson is not to lose yourself in another, but to walk the path with integrity—even if it means walking it alone.

Carrying someone else’s burden while abandoning your own well-being is not compassion—it’s bondage. Letting go is not giving up. It is the first breath after nearly drowning.

The Stoics would say: “You are not disturbed by events, but by your judgment about them.” Marcus Aurelius reminded us that if something costs you your peace, it’s too expensive. You are not obligated to keep a sinking ship afloat by yourself.

And in the teachings of Christ: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But do not forget that “as yourself” means you must first value and care for your own soul. Even Jesus stepped away from the crowds to pray and rest. Self-sacrifice is noble, but self-erasure is not divine.

Sometimes, leaving the boat is not failure—it’s faith.

The boat story can be found on Tik Tock and FB (yourbestiemisha)